No Title

Seriously life?? What the actual fuck? After finally doing good in school, eating right for like 2 weeks, joining a sport to work out, and being honest with the one I like, you throw depression back in my face?? Why? Being numb is a necessity in my house and depression kicked its way back in and ignited all of the negative feelings that I thought I'd moved on from. I'm back to square one. FUCK YOU TOO LIFE!! I've been so angry and frustrated and broken these last days. I can't bring myself to tell you because I can't do it in a way without tears and shouting. A part of me knows that you have to know though, hence this post. A bigger part of me feels hopeless because I need to be whole before entering into a relationship and I was closer than I ever had been. Ever. Now here I am back at the fucking start. I have to find a way to try and gather all of the shards of me and somehow piece this together again. Fuck life. I was so close to being happy. Life took it away and trapped me with a beast. I don't know why I try sometimes to be honest. I just want it to end you know? I was so close to getting over it the healthy way, but I don't know if I can do it again. Fuck me. Fuck the world. Fuck the beast. Fuck this damn city. Fuck the school. Fuck these tears that betray me. Fuck the damn poem. Fuck life. I'm just so sad.

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