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Showing posts from October, 2019

Menthol Stained Hands

I've been up since 1AM and it's now 4AM. Smoking, wandering, thinking. This is weird. I need a drink. My breaths were visible on this starry night. A cancer stick was between my lips while I tried to find familiarity in the stars. Like the good old times, I tried to find the dippers. I can proudly tell you I found them but after that, my distraction was gone. I was forced with a choice. A metaphorical one of course. On one side was college. It represented a jail cell, A life that didn't feel free. and the other side? It was the real world. It looked magical honestly. I wanted to run right into it. I got to the end of my cigarette And I realized that to get there, sacrifices had to be made so I turned And went right back to my prison. The dippers were lost to time by the way. I should know. I checked before going back to Watson with my menthol stained hands.

Letting Go, Bye Wendy

INTRODUCTION You don't fit in this new life of mine, yet here you are. You weaseled yourself back in. Not actually, we still aren't friends, but metaphorically. For the first time in forever, I was hopeful and I won't let you ruin it so here I am. I'm here to vent, and honestly, I hope you see this. I'm mad--no--furious at you. You'd think after a month of detox, it'd all go away but it hasn't and your dumb ass drama is driving me crazy! Where do I begin with you? There's just so much--too much. I'm going to make a detailed list of everything I'm mad about. Enjoy the exposure you should've gotten a long time ago. **Also, I have viewers who don't know us so I will explain everything from my point of view and what I remember** PART I I was there through Sharon and Don, I know that shit sucked. Are abusive parents ever good though? But here's the thing, other people have lives and issues too. When Wendy was going through some...

This new life

You would not believe how my life has changed so much in a measly 3 months. I was thinking about it and decided that I needed to write it down, to document it. In 3 months, I'm o longer living in an abusive, toxic house and have cut ALL toxic people out of my life. I've learned that I need to be strong enough to blow past the drama and the fights and just cut them off. It's that simple. I've gotten a new gaming computer, gotten more into DnD and other RPG games, and now have a fish in which I adore. I think he's given me 3 gray hairs already and It's only been 5 days! Everyday, is a new adventure and I can choose how I want it to play out. Before it was always decided by my family, some toxic friends and my lack of motivation. I'm still working on the motivation part, but oh my god. My life is so different and I'm much happier now with the people in my life, with what I'm spending my time on. I found a guy that I really like. We went out on a date on...