Letting Go, Bye Wendy
INTRODUCTION
You don't fit in this new life of mine, yet here you are. You weaseled yourself back in. Not actually, we still aren't friends, but metaphorically. For the first time in forever, I was hopeful and I won't let you ruin it so here I am. I'm here to vent, and honestly, I hope you see this. I'm mad--no--furious at you. You'd think after a month of detox, it'd all go away but it hasn't and your dumb ass drama is driving me crazy! Where do I begin with you? There's just so much--too much. I'm going to make a detailed list of everything I'm mad about. Enjoy the exposure you should've gotten a long time ago.
**Also, I have viewers who don't know us so I will explain everything from my point of view and what I remember**
PART I
I was there through Sharon and Don, I know that shit sucked. Are abusive parents ever good though? But here's the thing, other people have lives and issues too. When Wendy was going through some of the toughest shit in the world I was there to help her report it and to tell her it wasn't always going to be that way. However, she was too caught up in it that it consumed her and no one else got to talk to her about what was happening with them. My mom was abusive too, but we could never once talk about my shit without you talking about yours and then shaming me cause your "situation is worse". It's not a pissing contest, grow up. I developed so many destructive habits because of you and your manipulative shit. Anytime I struggle, I get mad at myself because it's so easy compared to what other may go through. I constantly second guess myself and if it's really as bad as I think and I down-play shit and bottle it up. And because of that, I don't really feel emotions when it comes to certain things because I don't have a right to, someone has it worse. Not only that, you didn't just tell me about your problems, you told everyone. See, that in itself isn't a bad thing, but when you complain about everyone knowing your shit then...…well……maybe don't tell everyone.
PART II
You're manipulative. That's it. You just are. I think this could've gone into the last paragraph as well since that was another form of manipulation. Isn't it kind of weird that everyone hurts you. Maybe it's a little strange that you're the victim all the time? That's because you aren't most of the time. You use gaslighting to make the other person believe they are at fault when it isn't just them. You've gotten mad at me for not texting you first or replying fast enough. I said sorry at those times and tried better, but I'm rescinding that right now. I shouldn't have had to apologize for the fact that I didn't have the time or energy to talk you. Another thing that I apologized for was my "bad jokes". You know what? My sense of humor may not have been funny to you, but at least I was being myself. It's not my fault that you and I have different humor and you didn't think my jokes were funny. And it's worse because you knew that I had trouble reading, expressing and feeling any real emotions. I didn't know when my jokes were too far, I couldn't read you, and you used it against me. You called me stupid once or tice or more and I can't help but think it was because I wasn't the best at being "emotional". I trusted you with that information and you used it to hurt me. Also I thought you were extremely manipulative towards Maria and I. I talked to her after I cut you off. I know what really happened(see part 3). You lied. She never wanted to "wifey you", she was never in love with you but you told me that to make yourself seem more desirable. Despicable because Maria and I really disliked each other for a while because of it. And guess what, she's one of my close friend's now. Also, how dare you yell at me for telling "everyone everything" about our fights when you turned ALL of my friends against me. If that's true and they all secretly hated me and you singe-handedly ruined my senior year. When I gave you a second chance and you told me that, you laughed it off as if it were funny. Does it seem funny to you that all of my so called friends secretly disliked me and thought I was an awful person? Is it funny to you that my senior year was a lie and you caused it? No, it's not funny, it's disgusting that you could laugh that off as a joke. At the time, I laughed too, I didn't know how to feel about it. Hell, at the time, I don't think I was feeling. Not the point though. What you did was disgusting and almost unforgivable.
PART III
Did you ever like me? Did you ever really like me? You say you're asexual, fine, that's fine. Guess what though, I'm not. I feel sexual attraction and then you lead me on. Fucking ouch. For those who may be confused, Wendy and I had a thing at one point in time and she flirted with me one night while apparently drunk. I asked her multiple times through out this sexual conversation if she was under any kind of influence--drugs, alcohol, anything. She repeatedly told me no and I have the texts, I have the receipts. So thinking that she was sober, I continued to flirt with her. She asked me if I'd ever do anything sexual with her and if I would, how far would I go? She went as far to suggest that we could maybe do it next time I saw her. As someone who experiences sexual attraction, this was exciting and I thought you liked me enough to go farther. I didn't know you were asexual at the time and this experience makes me think that maybe you aren't because you obviously felt a sexual desire of some kind. Then to tell me it was all a joke and that you were just drunk? That was a kick in the nuts. First of all, you lied to me-repeatedly- and then you also told me my feelings and sexual attractions were just a joke to you. Fuck no. Fuck you. That's ruthless of you. And like the dumbass I was, I kept following you into your little pit of despair that you dug for me. You personally dug it too. Ever since I cut you off, I noticed that that's your pattern. You say something and if you regret it later then you say you were drunk. Once again for those who don't know, She did this to someone else. Someone I actually care about. My good friend kind of liked Wendy and Wendy told her she liked her back and wanted to be a thing. This would've been new for my friend and she was excited, but scared as she'd never dated a girl before. Wendy then told her it was a drunken joke the next day. Nice, huh? So fucking nice! Not only that, but then Wendy told me that my friend came onto her. "Yeah, she wants to wifey me." [widens eyes]. When I thought I liked Wendy, I was under the impression that my other friend was going after the girl I was having a thing with. We honestly couldn't get along because of it and Wendy must've loved that. I bet she was dying, rolling on the floor! It's funny cause Wendy was going back and forth telling me that my friend was crazy about her and then telling her friend that I was just a "selfish bitch". Nice touch by the way.
CONCLUSION
The damage you have done is irreversible and I'm glad you're gone. I'm responsible for making sexual jokes after you asked me not to. I'm also responsible for being impulsive and telling people about our fights. I'll own up to that shit and if there's other shit I forgot then leave a comment and I'll own up to that too. You know why? Because I'm a decent human being who can admit they're wrong. Whatever you do, DON'T text me or I will go off. I'm furious at you and have been for a long time. Now that we aren't friends, I can finally say it too. I hope you check this blog sometimes and look over my old posts. Friends are supposed to bring each other up and help each other be better people, but you didn't help at all. Like I said before, you dug me my ow little hole of despair. I have different friends now--better friends. We don't bond over our weaknesses and issues like you and I did. My friends and I bond over the fact that we want to be better people and they have helped me so much more than you ever did.
You don't fit in this new life of mine, yet here you are. You weaseled yourself back in. Not actually, we still aren't friends, but metaphorically. For the first time in forever, I was hopeful and I won't let you ruin it so here I am. I'm here to vent, and honestly, I hope you see this. I'm mad--no--furious at you. You'd think after a month of detox, it'd all go away but it hasn't and your dumb ass drama is driving me crazy! Where do I begin with you? There's just so much--too much. I'm going to make a detailed list of everything I'm mad about. Enjoy the exposure you should've gotten a long time ago.
**Also, I have viewers who don't know us so I will explain everything from my point of view and what I remember**
PART I
I was there through Sharon and Don, I know that shit sucked. Are abusive parents ever good though? But here's the thing, other people have lives and issues too. When Wendy was going through some of the toughest shit in the world I was there to help her report it and to tell her it wasn't always going to be that way. However, she was too caught up in it that it consumed her and no one else got to talk to her about what was happening with them. My mom was abusive too, but we could never once talk about my shit without you talking about yours and then shaming me cause your "situation is worse". It's not a pissing contest, grow up. I developed so many destructive habits because of you and your manipulative shit. Anytime I struggle, I get mad at myself because it's so easy compared to what other may go through. I constantly second guess myself and if it's really as bad as I think and I down-play shit and bottle it up. And because of that, I don't really feel emotions when it comes to certain things because I don't have a right to, someone has it worse. Not only that, you didn't just tell me about your problems, you told everyone. See, that in itself isn't a bad thing, but when you complain about everyone knowing your shit then...…well……maybe don't tell everyone.
PART II
You're manipulative. That's it. You just are. I think this could've gone into the last paragraph as well since that was another form of manipulation. Isn't it kind of weird that everyone hurts you. Maybe it's a little strange that you're the victim all the time? That's because you aren't most of the time. You use gaslighting to make the other person believe they are at fault when it isn't just them. You've gotten mad at me for not texting you first or replying fast enough. I said sorry at those times and tried better, but I'm rescinding that right now. I shouldn't have had to apologize for the fact that I didn't have the time or energy to talk you. Another thing that I apologized for was my "bad jokes". You know what? My sense of humor may not have been funny to you, but at least I was being myself. It's not my fault that you and I have different humor and you didn't think my jokes were funny. And it's worse because you knew that I had trouble reading, expressing and feeling any real emotions. I didn't know when my jokes were too far, I couldn't read you, and you used it against me. You called me stupid once or tice or more and I can't help but think it was because I wasn't the best at being "emotional". I trusted you with that information and you used it to hurt me. Also I thought you were extremely manipulative towards Maria and I. I talked to her after I cut you off. I know what really happened(see part 3). You lied. She never wanted to "wifey you", she was never in love with you but you told me that to make yourself seem more desirable. Despicable because Maria and I really disliked each other for a while because of it. And guess what, she's one of my close friend's now. Also, how dare you yell at me for telling "everyone everything" about our fights when you turned ALL of my friends against me. If that's true and they all secretly hated me and you singe-handedly ruined my senior year. When I gave you a second chance and you told me that, you laughed it off as if it were funny. Does it seem funny to you that all of my so called friends secretly disliked me and thought I was an awful person? Is it funny to you that my senior year was a lie and you caused it? No, it's not funny, it's disgusting that you could laugh that off as a joke. At the time, I laughed too, I didn't know how to feel about it. Hell, at the time, I don't think I was feeling. Not the point though. What you did was disgusting and almost unforgivable.
PART III
Did you ever like me? Did you ever really like me? You say you're asexual, fine, that's fine. Guess what though, I'm not. I feel sexual attraction and then you lead me on. Fucking ouch. For those who may be confused, Wendy and I had a thing at one point in time and she flirted with me one night while apparently drunk. I asked her multiple times through out this sexual conversation if she was under any kind of influence--drugs, alcohol, anything. She repeatedly told me no and I have the texts, I have the receipts. So thinking that she was sober, I continued to flirt with her. She asked me if I'd ever do anything sexual with her and if I would, how far would I go? She went as far to suggest that we could maybe do it next time I saw her. As someone who experiences sexual attraction, this was exciting and I thought you liked me enough to go farther. I didn't know you were asexual at the time and this experience makes me think that maybe you aren't because you obviously felt a sexual desire of some kind. Then to tell me it was all a joke and that you were just drunk? That was a kick in the nuts. First of all, you lied to me-repeatedly- and then you also told me my feelings and sexual attractions were just a joke to you. Fuck no. Fuck you. That's ruthless of you. And like the dumbass I was, I kept following you into your little pit of despair that you dug for me. You personally dug it too. Ever since I cut you off, I noticed that that's your pattern. You say something and if you regret it later then you say you were drunk. Once again for those who don't know, She did this to someone else. Someone I actually care about. My good friend kind of liked Wendy and Wendy told her she liked her back and wanted to be a thing. This would've been new for my friend and she was excited, but scared as she'd never dated a girl before. Wendy then told her it was a drunken joke the next day. Nice, huh? So fucking nice! Not only that, but then Wendy told me that my friend came onto her. "Yeah, she wants to wifey me." [widens eyes]. When I thought I liked Wendy, I was under the impression that my other friend was going after the girl I was having a thing with. We honestly couldn't get along because of it and Wendy must've loved that. I bet she was dying, rolling on the floor! It's funny cause Wendy was going back and forth telling me that my friend was crazy about her and then telling her friend that I was just a "selfish bitch". Nice touch by the way.
CONCLUSION
The damage you have done is irreversible and I'm glad you're gone. I'm responsible for making sexual jokes after you asked me not to. I'm also responsible for being impulsive and telling people about our fights. I'll own up to that shit and if there's other shit I forgot then leave a comment and I'll own up to that too. You know why? Because I'm a decent human being who can admit they're wrong. Whatever you do, DON'T text me or I will go off. I'm furious at you and have been for a long time. Now that we aren't friends, I can finally say it too. I hope you check this blog sometimes and look over my old posts. Friends are supposed to bring each other up and help each other be better people, but you didn't help at all. Like I said before, you dug me my ow little hole of despair. I have different friends now--better friends. We don't bond over our weaknesses and issues like you and I did. My friends and I bond over the fact that we want to be better people and they have helped me so much more than you ever did.
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