Not a crush

I'm a transgender male. I'm also biromantic, but I have a preference for females. I've had little crushes here and there. I've had 2 big ones though, but they all have something in common: they're nothing compared to what I've had for the past three years. My school isn't very accepting though and I haven't transitioned so I still LOOK like a female. An ugly one at that. I'm not anything special, but she is. Ever since freshman year, I've noticed her in every class and every hall. I could give you a good estimate on far our lockers are from each other. It's not creepy, right? I hadn't put a label on it until a couple of weeks ago and I can't stop thinking about her when we're in Spanish. She's loud and obnoxious, yet quiet and gentle. I can tell that there's something deeper there, but I have no clue as to what. Today her dance team performed at a pep assembly and I did nothing but stare. Is that bad? She's funny and I love her taste in music(she puts on random songs for us to listen to in class). All of the other 'crushes' faded away because I knew I'd never get them, but this is different. I'm not saying I have a chance, but I can't get her out of my head. I look at her and...well I'll keep some to myself :p

There are some quirks I've noticed that I find adorable and beautiful. I don't wanna share them because there are things I wanna keep a secret ;)

Thanks for listening to me and my pathetic and kinda creepy.....I don't know, but it's not just a crush.

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