This one really is the last one

There will be one more post.

 I can't leave it at what it's at right now. I just can't. I know I said I wouldn't reply, but I guess I lied. Wendy, I will NEVER hate you. Ever. Period. End of story. You were the first one that stuck with me through all of my bullshit. I hate it when we fight because it feels like I'm close to losing the only one who actually gives a slight fuck about me. I'm also partly to blame for all of this too. As much as it kills me, I did harass you and I'm so sorry. I figured it out last night and it was like a part of me was the beast I've tried so hard to get away from. I know how it feels to be harassed and violated in such a way and I'd never wish it on anyone. Not even my mother. I'm so sorry for that and I'll never be able to say it enough.

If you need me I'm here. Always. I can't even pretend that I'm not hurting without you. You've been the only thing I could think about for the past week. It's sucked hardcore to have to let you go even when everyone told me to. I've been so depressed without you that all I've done is cry and listen to sad music. I listen to the sad music and I'd think about how much you hated me. I understood though. I never meant to hurt you Wendy, I'm so sorry. I don't think we can ever be what we were. I'm sorry. We just can't be as close as we were, but...I can't leave you. I just can't. I think we can be acquaintances. I don't want you to leave, but I think we gotta distance ourselves for a bit first. 

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